I really am struggling with keeping up with my fitness and diet goals. It is so frustrating when I can be knocked off the wagon so easily and then have to struggle back on and try again. I do keep trying but until I can make it a consistent habit to exercise and eat right I am not going to get anywhere! I blame my disordered life but really I am getting everything pretty organized these days. I blame my hectic schedule but it's not that hectic anymore. I blame depression but the depression is mild and is mostly caused by my unfit lifestyle.
I can't keep laying the blame on everything in my life when in the end I am making the choice to exercise or not, I am making the choice of eating a salad or cake! My disordered life, hectic schedule and mild depression are not making these choices for me! I have to learn to own my choices and understand that in the end I am the only one who can take the blame for the way my day is going.
I have gained back every bit of weight that I have lost. Yeah, I said it! I am back to only working out occasionally (usually with Whit pushing me every step) and to eating whatever I happen to feel like (which is generally something that is processed and easy). All of my aches and pains have returned and I can't tell you when the last time was that I got in a full 8 glasses of water in a day.
I have got to change this pattern!
I have been reading Annette's Awakening for a while now and her story is a lot like mine, with one exception! She changed! She made the decision to be healthy and then she did it. She got on that wagon and rode it to a 70 lb weight lose! She learned to own her choices and it is paying off immensely for her!
I want that too!
So for the first time I am posting pictures of myself, right now, the way I am today. I am posting my numbers. I am posting my fitness level. I am basically opening myself up for everyone to see! I want a clean slate to draw my life on! So consider this post the cleaning of the slate. Tomorrow is a new day and I am going to embrace it anew!
Goal Pants (These fit me at the beginning of the year. Now I couldn't hope to get them on):
(I had no idea that I looked like that. Seeing these pictures for the first time nearly made me cry. I have an image in my head of what I look like and that is not it at all. I have got to get this figured out, I don't want to be that person in the picture anymore. )
My numbers (in inches):
Push Ups= 0
Sit Ups= 0
Running= 15 seconds
I look forward to seeing those numbers change as the weeks and months pass by! I am going to weigh in every week but I will only do the photos and measurements once a month! For now I am going to work on walking every day and eating every 3 to 4 hours. I will make more changes later as I get used to this first part of my journey. I will think of it as if it was the Oregon Trail Game and do my best to make decisions that will enable me to continue on this bumpy wagon trail!
Thank you to all of my blogger friends who have stuck with me through it all. I sure hope you can hang on a little longer because I really appreciate you all and look forward to your comments and encouragement!